Life with a head injury

The words quoted below (and slightly edited and reformatted by me) were originally captured in a photo taken by me back in my late-first, or early- to mid-second year of me slowly regathering what made me tick, in amongst the processes and expectations I went through myself, and were (and are) relatable to those experiences of surviving a head injury.

They had been typed, framed and hung in a corridor of a Headway setup and they really stood out to me – a good sign of the power of the writing process to find meaning, help and perspective – and clearly left their mark on me given I had kept the photo for some time and am posting them here.

. . . and, just to mention, unfortunately there was no information on the framed poster that credited the person who wrote the piece (maybe they did't want to be credited, which is fair enough) but thanks in small part to the brain injury association, Headway, for doing this kind of thing in and around all the work they do to assist survivors of brain injury.

Life with a head injury, it’s hard to explain with so many things that go on, deep inside my brain.

There are days I feel good, there are days I feel bad.

There are days I’m so elated and there’s days I’m fucking mad.

‘You’re looking well’, they say, when people see you face to face but they don’t see inside, the part that’s processing at a new pace.

I try to explain to people, let them know what it’s all about but finding the words [are] difficult – there are times when they just won’t come out.

There are so many appointments and questions, people getting on my case.

I use fags and drink as a distraction, to create my own space.

I like to do tasks well and complete them, but I suffer with fatigue.

It’s like being good at football, but finishing bottom of the league.

I overthink and over-analyse, everything that’s done or said.

I am unable to multi-task, routines are rigid in my head.

I cannot see the whole picture, all I see is black and white, my concentration levels are poor, I can’t make sense of what’s in sight.

My memory has been affected – I’m like a broken record on repeat – I have to write things down, to make the puzzle complete.

I feel that I come across stupid and simple.

I worry that people will judge.

I have constant feelings of negativity.

I’ve tried but they will not budge.

Relationships have suffered, there’s friends I’ve lost on the way but new people have come along, I hope they are here to stay.

I’ve been told I’m like a rabbit, with heightened awareness at the forefront of my mind.

In order to make sense of this I need to dig deeper, the queen bee I need to find.

I find this is a good way to express myself, on paper it all makes sense all my thoughts and feelings in one place, no longer sitting on the fence.

The road to recovery is a long one, and acceptance is the key; strategies and understanding, to create the brand new me.

Maybe there are some things you can relate to, and don’t think I’m totally insane.

I just wanted to share what life’s like, for me with a broken brain.

Client of Headway