Quiet
The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking
Susan Cain
Having read it
★★★★★
Pretty darn amazing and this line from the book made me provide a nod of agreement to it:
We need leaders who build not their own egos but the institutions they run.
Overall, the book was a helpful reminder to me of some of my own perspectives and approaches to life and how my own introversion has adapted and changed as I have encountered similar situations to those described in some of the case studies and comments written and learned to better place myself and manage my abilities to achieve good outcomes.
In hindsight, it may have been helpful for me to have read this book (and actually learned and adapted from its insight!) when I was trudging somewhat up the career steps to other, more lofty ‘floors’ back in the mid- to late-2010s; still, that noun, starting with an h and ending in t, can be a wonderful thing when left well alone, rather than made to contribute to more, what if moments!
Anyway, reading this book now, after nearly five years from the event that changed my life, has helped contribute to the building and strengthening I have been doing, since then, of my roots and foundations and it has also given me a bit more confidence that I have done and am doing okay considering and my life’s journey, despite enduring a serious bump, is reforming and rebuilding.
Difficult and unexpected changes can be surprisingly helpful when allowed to happen steadily and on your own terms.
A good passage
[...] high-reactive children may be more likely to develop into artists and writers and scientists and thinkers because their aversion to novelty causes them to spend time inside the familiar – and intellectually fertile – environment of their own heads. ‘The university is filled with introverts,’ observes the psychologist Jerry Miller, director of the Center for the Child and the Family at the University of Michigan. ‘The stereotype of the university professor is accurate for so many people on campus. They like to read; for them there’s nothing more exciting than ideas. And some of this has to do with how they spent their time when they were growing up. If you spend a lot of time charging around, then you have less time for reading and learning. There’s only so much time in your life.’
A second good passage
At first blush, Free Trait Theory seems to run counter to a cherished piece of our cultural heritage. Shakespeare’s oft-quoted advice, ‘To thine own self be true,’ runs deep in our philosophical DNA. Many of us are uncomfortable with the idea of taking on a ‘false’ persona for any length of time. And if we act out of character by convincing ourselves that our pseudo-self is real, we can eventually burn out without even knowing why. The genius of Little’s theory is how neatly it resolves this discomfort. Yes, we are only pretending to be extroverts, and yes, such inauthenticity can be morally ambiguous (not to mention exhausting), but if it’s in the service of love or a professional calling, then we’re doing just as Shakespeare advised.
A third good passage
Also, remember the dangers of the New Groupthink. If it’s creativity you’re after, ask your employees to solve problems alone before sharing their ideas. If you want the wisdom of the crowd, gather it electronically, or in writing, and make sure people can’t see each other’s ideas until everyone’s had a chance to contribute. Face-to-face contact is important because it builds trust, but group dynamics contain unavoidable impediments to creative thinking. Arrange for people to interact one-on-one and in small, casual groups. Don’t mistake assertiveness or eloquence for good ideas. If you have a proactive work force (and I hope you do), remember that they may perform better under an introverted leader than under an extroverted or charismatic one.
Whoever you are, bear in mind that appearance is not reality. Some people act like extroverts, but the effort costs them in energy, authenticity, and even physical health. Others seem aloof or self-contained, but their inner landscapes are rich and full of drama. So the next time you see a person with a composed face and a soft voice, remember that inside her mind she might be solving an equation, composing a sonnet, designing a hat. She might, that is, be deploying the powers of quiet.
We know from myths and fairy tales that there are many different kinds of powers in this world. One child is given a light saber, another a wizard’s education. The trick is not to amass all the different kinds of available power, but to use well the kind you’ve been granted. Introverts are offered keys to private gardens full of riches. To possess such a key is to tumble like Alice down her rabbit hole. She didn’t choose to go to Wonderland – but she made of it an adventure that was fresh and fantastic and very much her own.
Lewis Carroll was an introvert, too, by the way. Without him, there would be no Alice in Wonderland. And by now, this shouldn’t surprise us.